Oh no! This is potentially quite serious. My sense of humour is missing and is nowhere to be found! Over the last six months or so slowly but surely it has slipped away.

I have tried to find it in the funding applications, the rejection letters, the mid-term and end of project reports, at board meetings. I have shouted out across the office that I am an artist but my colleagues look up for a moment smile politely and then get on with whatever they are doing.

This is not how creativity works, it’s not a business plan, it’s not a report.

It’s about walking around, doodling, playing, washing dishes to enable ideas to surface. The ‘what if?’ idea, the mad crazy idea–that settles a little and then starts to grow. You need space, time, imagination and yes sometimes stillness to let things take shape.

But you all know this, I don’t have to tell you this, I mention it because I feel having lost my sense of humour I might be loosing my voice. How can I express myself when I can’t afford a rehearsal space to let it all hang out, when I can’t find a venue to collaborate with for collaborations to happen. You know I think that’s where I might find my missing humour – hidden in an improvisation. Note to self: nevermind planning just improvise.

I have been reading Alan Johnson’s Please Mister Postman. And very enlightening it is, actually very inspiring. That slow long march of mathematical equations that were negotiated so we have a more streamlined commercial postal service, that reduced union power, that brought in new technology, that was about pay and productivity and removing state money from this business… Oh no! I am not smiling at all.

There goes my sense of humour…